As requested by anon. :)
If we asked the espada what the most embarrassing moment of their life was, and they actually didn’t lie, what might they say?
1. Grimmjow: That time he forgot that he only had one arm.
He went to do a two-punch combo, and, well, the right punch landed but the left was just a sad little swish of air. And then Grimmjow lost his balance and fell over.
Grimmjow: I MEANT TO DO THAT!
2. Luppi: That time Gin convinced him that ALL the espada were coming to the meeting in costume.
Luppi showed up dressed as Doctor Octopus. It was, sadly, his only meeting while an espada.
Gin: Luppi and I sure love pranking each other!
3. Starrk: That time he went a whole day without realizing that Lilinette had drawn a dick on his forehead.
He noticed people were snickering, of course. He just assumed he had bed head or something.
Starrk: And so I learned to wake up early enough to at least glance in the mirror.
Lilinette: You’re welcome!!
4. Ulquiorra: That time he actually tried drinking Aizen’s tea.
And it just dribbled out of his neck hole and stained his lovely white uniform an ugly brown color.
Ulquiorra: I knew I should have gotten more bleach.
5. Yammy: That time the skinny Quincy got the best of him.
Although really, the emotion Yammy felt was more anger than embarrassment. Just like always.
Yammy: HE WEIGHS LIKE 90 POUNDS! HOW?!?
6. Barragan: That time he accidentally called himself an espada.
A thing Barragan made damn sure to never do again.
Barragan: As the #2 espada, I…
[Collective gasp from the assembled fracciones]
Barragan: WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN! I AM YOUR KING!
7. Halibel: That time her jacket zipper got stuck.
She was going for the dramatic boob number reveal. Instead she ended up struggling and swearing over her boobs for an awkward couple of minutes.
Halibel: Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking, putting my number there.
8. Zommari: That time he got his head stuck sideways.
It was espada picture day, too.
Zommari: No more yoga for me.
9. Neliel: That time she accidentally sneezed healing mucus all over Szayel.
It was during a meeting. Szayel was sitting next to her.
Szayel: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
10. Szayel: That time that Neliel sneezed healing mucus all over him.
And Aizen wouldn’t let him leave. Because it was during a meeting. And Aizen is kinda a dick.
Szayel: I will have my vengeance, Neliel.
11. Nnoitra: That time it was super windy in Hueco Mundo and Nnoitra, wearing his giant spoon hood, sort of…took flight.
Gin denied having set the whole thing up, despite the string he had conveniently tied around Nnoitra’s foot beforehand.
Nnoitra: I AM NOT A FUCKING KITE!
12. Aaroniero: That time his two heads sang a duet without realizing that they were linked up with all of the other espada.
It would have been less embarrassing if they were any good. And if they hadn’t been singing “Can You Feel The Love Tonight?”
Aaroniero: …it’s very catchy.