As requested by anon. :) And also anon and reira69. ;)
So! It seems that Ichigo and Rukia are having a baby! What do you think about that, Bleach characters?
Byakuya: My clan will NOT be pleased.
Rukia: B-but Nii-sama! More Kuchikis is a good thing, right? And there’s like a 60% chance that Ichigo is secretly a Shiba noble!
Byakuya: Yes. And a 100% chance that he is human. A filthy human peasant.
Ichigo: Hey! Be careful what language you use in front of our unborn baby, Byakuya! That’s the future head of the Kuchiki clan in there!
Isshin: MASAKI! MASAKI! WE’RE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!
Karin: Ichigo? A dad? Now that’s just weird.
Yuzu: There’s going to be a baby, Karin!! I love babies!! I-I hope it has orange hair like Ichigo’s!
Karin: …I just hope he doesn’t expect me to change diapers.
Orihime: I-I know Kuchiki and Kurosaki are going to make wonderful parents! That is a very lucky child!
Renji: Yes. Yes they will.
Renji: Now if you’ll excuse me I need to drink myself into unconsciousness while crying.
Kira: I AM TOTALLY THERE!
Aizen: Kurosaki is having a child?
Aizen: New target…acquired.
[ghost] Kaien: I’m proud of you, Kuchiki. You’ve done so well for yourself. You’re a lieutenant, a mother, a great warrior, a loyal friend…
[ghost] Kaien: Oh, and “Kaien” would be a great kid name. If you wanted to, you know, honor my memory. Just throwing that out there.
Ishida: Kurosaki! Kurosaki! Look! I made your future offspring a tiny, adorable Quincy bow!
Ishida: It is never to early to start training Quincy offspring in the ways of archery!
Ukitake: And I got him a tiny, adorable substitute soul reaper badge!
Ukitake: You know, as a symbol of how he’ll always be part of our family, no matter if he’s human or Quincy or shinigami!
Kyoraku: Or some kind of terrible hybrid! Like you!
Ichigo: …I’m touched.
Rukia: DON’T YOU CALL OUR CHILD A ‘TERRIBLE HYBRID’!
Rukia: HE WILL BE THE MOST AWESOME HYBRID THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!
Rukia: AND HE WILL WEAR NOTHING BUT BUNNY JAMMIES!
Ichigo: Wait, what was that last bit?
Rukia: Nothing! Don’t worry about it! Just trust me. Our child will be the cutest bunny clad shinigami-Quincy-human ever.