As requested by anon. :)
Once again it is time to let Bleach characters talk about our ships! This time, it seems that word has just spread that Ichigo and Yoruichi are a couple. Bleach characters, how do you feel about this development?
Soi Fon: I AM GOING TO KILL THAT ORANGE-HAIRED WANNABE SHINIGAMI AND THEN I AM GOING TO GRIND HIM INTO POWDER AND FEED HIM TO MY CAT!!!!
Yoruichi: Soi Fon! You have a cat?
Soi Fon: I do! She’s black! Her name is “Awesome-pants!”
Yoruichi: Good for you! Just one thing - YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FEED MY BOYFRIEND TO HER!
Soi Fon: Boyfriend. «shudders»
Urahara: Huh. I guess sending them to Soul Society together was a bad idea…
Tessai: True. You should never send a couple on a honeymoon before they are married.
Tessai: It’s bad luck.
Ukitake: I remember that time on the bridge, when Yoruichi punched her hand into Ichigo’s stomach, left behind an anesthetic, and then carried him away over her shoulder. I knew then that this would be.
Byakuya: Is it romantic for a woman to carry off an unconscious male?
Ukitake: It is if it’s Yoruichi!
Byakuya: She carried off my hair tie once.
Ichigo: Sorry, Byakuya. I win this time.
Ichigo: Actually, every time.
Isshin: I TOLD YOU NOT TO WEAR THAT BATTLE LEOTARD, WOMAN! MY YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE SON WAS THERE! YOU CORRUPTED HIM!
Isshin: Nah, I’m just kidding! This is awesome! YOU ARE NOW MY DAUGHTER!
Yuzu: Sometimes I worry about dad.
Ishida: Am I the only one worrying about the litter box issue?
Renji: Yes. Because that’s weird.
Ishida: I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN THAT SHE IS A TALKING CAT!
Keigo: So…Ichigo goes to Soul Society. Comes back with a beautiful woman.
Keigo: I guess being involved in that shit isn’t ALL bad.
Tatsuki: Beautiful? Try gorgeous! How is Yoruichi NOT out of Ichigo’s league?
Ichigo: Um, I am the hero. And I’m pretty hot.
Tatsuki: HAVE YOU SEEN HER FLAWLESS BODY?
Ichigo: Hey, now! Don’t make those faces! If you guys wanted to go out with me, you should have done what Yoruichi did!
Rukia: Gotten naked at every opportunity?
Orihime: Been an adorable kitty at least 50% of the time?
Ichigo: Um no. Asked me.
Yoruichi: While being naked!
Chad: Holy crap. I cannot take the cuteness!