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34 notes

This week’s Q&A will be with Grimmjow! What questions do you have for the sexta espada?

112 notes

Bleach characters, Ichigo IS the Soul King! How do you respond?


As requested by anon. :)


Yes, this crack theory exists! It is now time to see what Bleach characters think about it!


Ichigo:


Ichigo: But if I’m Ichigo…


Ichigo: And the Soul King is Ichigo…


Ichigo: …


Ichigo: Then I’m just very confused right now.


Ishida: Obviously this is a time travel situation, Kurosaki.


Ishida: Perhaps time works different in the Royal Realm, as in the Dangai.


Ishida: The Soul King could be you from the future!


Ichigo: I become king…?


Ichigo: Wait was Sentoki accusing me of being in love with MYSELF?!


Tatsuki:
Shit! Is this what Kyoraku meant when he said Ichigo wouldn’t be coming home?


Mizuiro: I have heard that that the Soul King is some sort of lynch pin.


Mizuiro: If that is Kurosaki’s future, then yes, I suppose he would no longer reside in the human world. 


Keigo: B-but we don’t have passes to the Royal Realm!


Ichigo: But if I’m the king, then maybe I can give you guys leave to come visit me or something!


Keigo: THIS STILL SUCKS A LOT


Byakuya: Our king is part hollow? And part Quincy? And part human?


Byakuya: And 100% Kurosaki?


Byakuya:


Byakuya: So this is how it feels to be completely letdown. 


Grimmjow: Hey, I’m a king too!


Grimmjow: Now we have to fight!


Rukia: The Soul King is Ichigo?


Rukia:


Rukia: I hope it’s not bad that I keep stabbing him.


Aizen: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW


Aizen:  I HAD SO MANY CHANCES TO KILL KUROSAKI


Aizen: AND DOING SO WOULD HAVE MEANT KILLING THE SOUL KING???


Aizen: PLEASE JUST TELL ME THAT URAHARA IS SURPRISED TOO


Urahara:


Urahara: Yeah. So, um, totally surprised.


Urahara: Kurosaki? The Soul King? Whaaaat?


Aizen:


Aizen: I hate you so much right now. 

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Ichigo Soul King Ishida Tatsuki Mizuiro Keigo Byakuya Grimmjow Rukia Aizen Urahara

143 notes

If the espada went on strike…


As requested by anon. :)


Aizen’s espada have gone on strike! Only they can’t exactly agree on what their demands are. In fact, they each seem to have their own personal demands. Here is what each espada wants!


1. Grimmjow

Grimmjow: First of all,  NO MORE STAFF MEETINGS!

Grimmjow: And also we should be allowed to to the world of the living whenever we want!

Grimmjow: Without losing an arm for it!

Aizen: What if I granted day passes to the espada who have proved themselves to be the most effective in the world of the living?

Aizen: Wait, that wouldn’t do it for you at all, would it?

Grimmjow: …I could also do without the fucking sarcasm.


2. Szayel

Szayel: My demands are simple: more funding for scientific research.

Szayel: For what is more important than science?

Aizen: Nothing.

Aizen: That is why I give all of the funding to myself.

Aizen: Made the hogyoku, you know.

Szayel: THERE CAN BE MORE THAN ONE SCIENTIST


3. Aaroniero

Aaroniero: No giant artificial sun plz.

Aizen: My counter offer: sunblock.


4. Yammy

Yammy: Our pay should be based on size! The bigger are, are the more we get paid!

Yammy: Also I think we should have, like, a buddy system? 

Yammy: I would like to be Ulquiorra’s buddy.

Ulquoirra: For the love of heart, say no to this.


5. Halibel

Halibel: I believe that management should be more transparent.

Halibel: It is, at times, hard to know what our bosses are thinking.

Halibel: I also believe that we should be able to buy life insurance policies for our fraccion.

Halibel: So that their sacrifice has meaning.

Aizen: Fraccion life insurance policies?

Aizen: So you want to bankrupt me, then?


6. Zommari

Zommari: We hollows should have the right to elect our own hollow leaders!

Zommari: Also we should just have rights.

Zommari: As hollows. In Hueco Mundo.

Aizen: Um sure you can have elections just as soon as I step down.


7. Ulquiorra

Ulquiorra: I request more privacy.

Ulquiorra: Having cameras everywhere is altogether creepy.

Ulquiorra: Health insurance would also be nice.

Ulquiorra: Just in case any inner organs are damaged.

Aizen: You have the area above the roof and regeneration powers.

Aizen: You’re coming across as a little greedy here.


8. Luppi

Luppi: I think ex-espada should be kicked out!

Luppi: So that they are far, far away!

Luppi: So far away.

Aizen: It is not my fault that Grimmjow killed you.


9. Nelliel

Nelliel: I would like some sort of mediation service, in case one of us has problems with a coworker.

Nelliel: Perhaps a sexual harassment line.

Nelliel: Also better locks on our palaces.

Aizen: Okay but think about who I have working for me. Do any of them seem like the sort that you’d want working in a mediation office or on a complaint line?

Nelliel:

Aizen: You see my problem.


10. Nnoitra

Nnoitra: Weekly cage matches to ensure that the strength ranking is accurate!!

Aizen: You will still be five forever, Nnoitra.

Nnoitra: YOU DON’T KNOW THAT


11. Starrk

Starrk: More days off would be nice.

Starrk: A ban on early meetings.

Starrk: Sick days.

Aizen: You spend all your time sleeping as it is.

Starrk: My heart isn’t super in this strike.


12. Barragan

Barragan: I would like my fucking kingdom back.

Aizen: Ha ha no

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists espada Aizen Grimmjow Starrk Barragan Halibel Ulquiorra Nnoitra Nel Luppi Zommari Szayel Aaroniero Yammy

197 notes

What if Ishida were the main character of Bleach?


As requested by anon. :)


In this AU, we will imagine that Rukia transferred her shinigami powers not to Ichigo, but to Ishida instead. How would Bleach be different then?


1. Ishida would not be happy about the whole “shinigami powers” thing.

Rukia: There is…one way….

Rukia: [stabs Ishida]

Ishida: W-what the hell are you doing?

Ishida: I have Quincy powers!

Ishida: I was just about to take care of the hollow for you!

Rukia: What? You were just standing there so long that I thought you were a helpless human!

Ishida: Does this cape mean NOTHING to you?

Rukia: Well then why didn’t you use your bow?

Ishida: I was planning!!


2. Ishida would face a major crisis of conscience.

Ishida: I understand that your work is very important, Kuchiki.

Ishida: Souls need to pass on.

Ishida: The universal balance must be maintained.

Ishida: But on the other hand, I hate shinigami and I don’t exactly want to be one.

Rukia: Yeah….I’ll be following you around until you agree to help me.


3. Ishida would vacillate between shinigami and Quincy powers.

Ishida: I will help you, shinigami, but as a Quincy, I only fight with a bow!

Ishida: I know that you shinigami don’t like the whole “destroying souls completely” thing, but that is the Quincy way!

Ishida: This sword is basically just a walking stick to me!

Rukia: Okay so now we’re going to fight Inoue’s brother.

Ishida:

Ishida: I could try the sword.


4. Ishida would try to use his sword as a bow

Rukia: Uryu! Perform konso on that soul!

Ishida: Right!

Rukia:

Rukia: Um are you planning to use that homemade bow to fire your sword at the ghost kid?

Ishida: Don’t worry, it’ll be fired hilt first!

Rukia: BAD QUINCY


5. Ishida would make Rukia pajamas.

Ishida: If you are going to sleep in my closet, shinigami, then….here.

Rukia: Pajamas?

Rukia: They’re the perfect size! And super cute!

Rukia: But how?

Ishida: I have many talents.


6. Ryuken would be even more sarcastic than usual.

Ryuken: So, Uryu, you’re moonlighting as a shinigami now?

Ryuken: How comforting to know that if you tire of being an incompetent Quincy, you can switch to being an incompetent shinigami instead.

Ishida:

Rukia: So I made up a whole fake “I’m human” story for nothing, huh?


7. Ishida would notice that something was off about Urahara.

Ishida: This is the guy who gave you the gigai, Rukia?

Rukia: Yeah, that’s the one.

Ishida: The gigai you’ve been wearing while not getting your powers back?

Ishida: The gigai he just happened to have for you?

Rukia: What, you think he’s evil or something?

Ishida: LOOK AT HIS FACE


8. Rukia would be in way more trouble with Soul Society.

Rukia: Renji! Nii-sama!

Byakuya: Rukia…

Byakuya: You gave your powers to a Quincy?

Byakuya: Seriously?

Rukia:

Rukia: It seemed like a good idea at the time?


9. Ichigo would be kinda useless

Ichigo: Ishida! I heard from Inoue that you are going to Soul Society?

Ichigo: I want to help!

Ishida: By doing….what, exactly?

Ichigo:

Ichigo: I can punch people?

Ishida: Stay in school, Kurosaki.


10. Bleach would just have so much more planning.

Ishida: Okay, everyone!

Ishida: We are about to be fired in a cannon into enemy territory!

Ishida: These binders contain Plans A-J, Contingency Plans K-P, and three sets of code words.

Ishida: If caught by the enemy, you must eat the binder.

Chad: Um

Ishida: EAT THE BINDER

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Ishida Uryu Ishida Rukia Ryuken Orihime Ichigo Renji Byakuya Chad

125 notes

If other shinigami became visored…


As requested by anon. :) And also anon. ;)


Let’s say that some of the other shinigami in Bleach became visored. What would their mask look like?


1. Gin

Gin’s mask is circular and white, blank except for two narrow slits for the eyes. Oh, and a big, empty grin.

Ichigo: AND YOU CALL ME CREEPY??


2. Kira

Kira has a birdlike iron executioner’s mask, just like landofshame says.

Rose: BIRD BUDDIES!!

Kira:

Kira: I hate my life.


3. Matsumoto

Matsumoto’s mask has heavily outlined, catlike eyes and a snarling mouth with some very sharp teeth.

Matsumoto: Captain, I need to go shopping!

Matsumoto: I have nothing that matches this!


4. Byakuya

Byakuya’s mask is vaguely petal shaped, with a full half circle over his forehead, narrowing down to a gentle point at his chin. When he first masks, it is pure white, but as he gets stronger, pink petal-designs start to appear.

Ichigo: Oooh, an evolving mask just like mine??

Ichigo: I’m gonna make us T-shirts!

Byakuya: Not that again.


5. Komamura

Komamura’s mask is bucket-shaped.

Komamura: So that must be why my bucket helmet felt so right.


6. Rukia

Rukia’s mask is pure white, with a single ribbon tied to the top which comes down along the side of her face. It shimmers slightly, as though it is made of ice.

Rukia: It has been declared the most beautiful mask in Soul Society!

Rukia: I assume.


7. Hisagi

Hisagi has a demon mask, of course.

Hisagi: Maaan, why are my powers always scary?


8. Renji

Renji’s mask is reminiscent of a baboon, with close set eyes and a ferocious looking snout.

Renji: Zabimaru’s gonna be mad that my inner hollow is ripping off his design.


9. Ukitake

Ukitake’s mask is a mirrored oval. Just, mirrored. It is unclear how he sees.

Ukitake: Answer: with great difficulty!


10. Kyoraku

Kyoraku’s mask is pure, inky black, except for the eyes, which are outlined in red. Let’s just say you don’t want him coming out of the shadows at you.

Kyoraku: Wow.

Kyoraku: Totally not showing this to Nanao-chan!

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Gin Kira Matsumoto Byakuya Komamura Rukia Hisagi Renji Ukitake Kyoraku

164 notes

How they pack


As requested by anon. :)


Let’s say Bleach characters were going away on vacation. What sort of packers would they be?


1. Ishida: Brings extras of everything

Extra socks, extra pants, extra underwear, and THREE extra capes.

Ichigo: You know they have stores where we’re going, right?

Ishida: PREPARATION IS HIGHLY IMPORTANT


2. Ichigo: Stuffs things into a bag at random

And yet, somehow, he always seems to have exactly what he needs.

Ichigo: Raining, huh?

Ichigo: I wonder if I brought an umbrella.

Ichigo: Yup!

Ishida: BUT HOW


3. Renji: Always manages to forget socks

Just, always.

Renji: Aw, come on!


4. Rukia: Packs light (and borrows everything she needs from her host)

And by “borrows,” I mean “steals.”

Rukia:could pack pajamas.

Rukia: Or I could just borrow my hostess’ pajamas!

Rukia: That’s way more efficient!


5. Matsumoto: Has trouble leaving any clothes at home

She just hates not being prepared for every and any clothing situation.

Matsumoto: Like, what if there’s a cocktail party? What if we go hiking? What if there’s a flamenco dance competition?

Hitsugaya: I’M TELLING YOU - LEAVE THE RED-SEQUINED DRESS AT HOME


6. Bazz-B: Brags about only needing to pack 1 of everything

You really don’t want to sit next to Bazz-B on a flight.

Bazz-B: And I have only ONE T-shirt!

Bazz-B: And ONE pair of socks!

Bazz-B: And ONE pair of underwear!

Bazz-B: I am the best packer in the world!


7. Kenpachi: Never seems to have enough room in his suitcase

He doesn’t even pack that much. But whenever he goes to put something in his suitcase, there is always less room than he remembers.

Kenpachi: Well I guess I don’t have to bring the hairspray.


8. Yachiru: Likes to hide candy in Kenpachi’s suitcase

She’d put it in hers, but that one’s full (of candy).

Yachiru: “Socks” are just another word for “candy holder”!


9. Hitsugaya: Has a detailed packing list

He shared it with everyone via email. Just to be helpful.

Hitsugaya: I sent two copies to Renji.


10. Omaeda: Mostly cares about packing enough snacks

The rest, he figures, will take care of itself.

Omaeda: There is really nothing worse than being hungry during travel!

Soi Fon: Oh how your seat mates must hate you.


11. Soi Fon: Is the world’s most efficient packer

She developed the technique herself.

Soi Fon: There! Three weeks’ worth of clothing and supplies, in a 6-inch square cube!

Omaeda: But how


12. Byakuya: Rolls his clothing

He his discovered that this is the best way to take up as little space as possible without wrinkling your clothes.

Byakuya: Must better than my previous method.

Byakuya: Which involved bringing an iron.


13. Szayel: Does a lot of research

He likes to find out exactly the climate and customs of the places he is going, to make sure he packs exactly the right things.

Szayel: I used to send my brother ahead so as to collect data through the equipment implanted in him.

Szayel: Now, unfortunately, I have to use the internet.


14. Yumichika: Fills his suitcase with beauty products

Because only barbarians use hotel soaps and shampoos.

Yumichika: I am not an animal. 


15. Ikkaku: Stuffs some underwear into a fanny pack and calls it good

Ikkaku is pretty sure that fanny packs are cool.

Yumichika: YOU ARE WHY PEOPLE LIKE MATSUMOTO THINK WE’RE GROSS

Ikkaku: What


16. Hinamori: Agonizes about which books to bring

It’s just hard to know what sort of mood she’ll be in, once she’s on the trip.

Hinamori: Adventure? Biography? Romance? Sci-fi?

Hinamori: Maybe I should just bring them all!

Shinji: Is this why your suitcase is always a million pounds?


17. Shinji: Agonizes about which CDs to bring

It’s hard to know what sort of music he’ll want to listen to, once he’s on the trip.

Shinji: [staring at his giant CD tower]

Hinamori: We really need to get you an iPod.


18. Grimmjow: Keeps going back for stuff he forgot

It’s not unusual for Grimmjow to run back and forth two or three times.

Grimmjow: Shit! Hair gel!

Grimmjow: Dammit! Tootpaste!

Grimmjow: Fuck! My ticket!


19. Riruka: Has trouble leaving cute things at home

As a kid, she always wanted to take all of her stuffed animals. As an adult, that is still the case.

Riruka: So good I have that shrinking ability, really.


20. Yukio: Just brings his Playstation Vita and a credit card

And then buys everything else that he needs.

Yukio: I don’t understand why anyone bothers with luggage.

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Ishida Ichigo Renji Rukia Matsumoto Bazz-B Kenpachi Yachiru Hitsugaya Omaeda Soi Fon Byakuya Szayel Yumichika Ikkaku Hinamori Shinji Grimmjow Riruka Yukio

48 notes

Bleach characters, you have just learned that Bazz-B and Candice are dating! How do you respond?


As requested by anon. :)


Let’s say that everybody found that the Quincy Bazz-B and Candice were dating. How would everyone respond?


Cang Du: You attacked your girlfriend, Bazz-B?


Cang Du: You not only attempted to steal her fight from her, but you also attacked her?


Cang Du: You are the opposite of smooth.


Lilotto: I dunno!


Lilotto: Candice likes it rough, and so does Bazz-B!


Lilotto: Maybe that’s flirting for them! 


Renji: Well if she does want revenge she can always criticize Bazz-B’s hair.


Renji: He’s weirdly sensitive about that.


Ichigo: Um I’ve met her and I think her revenge is more likely to be “blasting him with thunderbolts.”


Bambietta: Well isn’t that typical!


Bambietta: Candice judged me for what I did with men, and then she turns around and starts dating a coworker!


Candice: Dating men is not the same as CUTTING THEM IN HALF


Bambietta: Not with that attitude!


Giselle: It’s his hair, isn’t it?


Giselle: Makes you thirsty.


Meninas: I don’t understand why they’ve gotten together!


Meninas: I thought Candice was too focused to bother with dating!


Gremmy: Well of course they’ve gotten together.


Gremmy: Fire and lightning?


Gremmy: Aggressive and aggressive?


Gremmy: Bloodthirsty and bloodthirsty?


Gremmy: I mean, they’ll kill each other for sure, but -


Bazz-B:


Candice:


Bazz-B: Yeah, probably.


Candice: I can see it.


Bazz-B: But at least we’ll look totally hot until then!


Candice: Damn straight!

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Bazz-B Candice Candice Catnipp Cang Du Lilotto Renji Ichigo Giselle Meninas Gremmy

104 notes

Lieutenant “wedding” vows


As (sort of) requested by anon. :)


Okay, so here’s the story. This anon just asked for “promises that lieutenants make to their captains.” So I started thinking about what things lieutenants would promise to their captains, maybe on like their first day and, well…….it just sounded like the lieutenants were giving “wedding” vows to their captains. You know, for the “marriage” of being captain and lieutenant. Um. Well here’s what I have! This is what the lieutenants might have promised on their first day as lieutenant!


1. Sasakibe to Yamamoto

"Captain, I promise to always stand beside you. I promise not to give you any more scars. I promise to follow orders faithfully, and to carry them out to the best of my ability. I promise to rub oil onto you when you want to sunbathe. To cover for you if you fall asleep in the middle of the day. To buy you that special eyebrow conditioner that you like. To not bug you (too much) to eat western food. And, above all, I promise to always be your lieutenant. Even if I get offered some kind of promotion. Because I’m your forever-lieutenant!"


2. Omaeda to Soi Fon

"Captain, I promise that wherever you go, I will be there with you. Standing beside you, ready to help you. Or if you’re walking I’ll be walking behind you. And if you get into trouble, I will cover for you. If you get thrown into walls, I will place my own body between you and the walls because, let’s face it, you have ZERO padding."


3. Kira to Rose

"Captain, I promise that I won’t let my previous bad experiences with captains affect my work. I won’t look surprised when you are still there in the mornings, I won’t constantly ask whether your orders will get me thrown into jail, and I won’t scream if I come in and your eyes are closed. Well, not again anyway. And yes, since you keep asking, I will listen to your music and if you want to write songs about me, I guess that’s okay."


4. Isane to Unohana

"Captain, I promise to always follow behind you, carrying your zanpakuto, since you don’t like to have it in your hands for some reason. I promise to treat our patients with love and respect, but also to not let Squad 11 get away with too much shit. I promise to always make sure my kido is topnotch, just in case you need me to send a message to everyone in Soul Society or anything. And I promise not to ask you too many questions about your past. You don’t seem to like it."


5. Hinamori to Shinji

"I promise to get to know you and to judge you based on your own traits and merits, and to not let my experience with Aizen affect my work or our relationship. But I also promise to use what I learned from that bad experience. I will not become obsessed with you. I will not pretend that you are perfect or infallible. Which I think will be easier with you! What?"


6. Renji to Byakuya

"Captain Kuchiki, I promise to be the hardest working lieutenant you’ve ever seen! I may not be the strongest right now, but I promise you I will never stop trying until I am better than y-………yeverybody. Also, I promise to be the super cool lieutenant you’ve always secretly wanted! To wear kick-ass sunglasses and punk-ass hair and to, um, probably stop swearing so much around you, if I’m reading your expression correctly. Which is something I’ll get better at too! Just you wait!"


7. Iba to Komamura

"Captain, my promise to you is the same as the promise I made to myself: I will be the best lieutenant I can possibly be. I will work hard at everything - to be strong in combat, clever in strategy, adept at kido, and an all-around well-rounded guy. Also, I will rock these sunglasses so hard, and I will be the manliest lieutenant you could ever dream of! I also promise that I will not ask you why you wear that weird helmet thing. Although if you want to tell me that’s okay too. Because I will stand by you no matter what. I am your lieutenant!" 


8. Nanao to Kyoraku 

"Captain, I promise to be an excellent lieutenant. I will be organized and hardworking, and I will always stand by your side. Unless, of course, you choose to leave me behind for some reason. Above all, I will make sure that your constant laziness and love of napping does not adversely affect our squad! And yes, since you insist, I will help you in any ‘flower petal related schemes,’ whatever that means."


9. Hisagi to Kensei

"Captain Muguruma, it is no exaggeration to say that I have been waiting my whole life for the opportunity to prove myself to you. I will make sure that you never for one second regret saving that tiny child you saved all those years ago! I will prove that I am no longer a frightened child who weeps at the sight of danger! I will live up to this tattoo that I have on my face! I will show you how strong I have become!"


10. Mashiro to Kensei

"I promise to make sure you don’t mess up this captain’s post too badly, pervert! And of course I promise to follow you always, whether you ask me to or not, because that is what a lieutenant does! And I also promise to keep my sub-lieutenant in line!"


11. Matsumoto to Hitsugaya

"Captain, I promise to be as good a lieutenant to you as I was to our previous captain! I promise not to get all weird about the fact that you were promoted above me, despite the fact that you’re much younger and were previously a third seat before you leapfrogged over me to become captain. Because you deserve it ‘n’ all! I promise to stand beside you always, to fight with you in battle, and to hopefully help you relax a little because you’re already looking a little stressed. Do you need some candy?"


12. Yachiru to Kenpachi

"Kenny, now that you’ve become the new Kenpachi, I promise to be the best lieutenant ever! I promise to never interfere with your fights, and to keep others from interring. I promise to be your guide, and to make sure we don’t get lost when we go places! And I promise that we will always be together, you and I!"


13. Nemu to Kurotsuchi

"Since you created me, Mayuri-sama, I am perfectly suited to follow your orders. And I have the same regenerative abilities as you. So if you want to use me as bait or whatever, that’s cool. Basically I promise to help with any schemes you might propose. And to use my drill hand for your version of ‘good.’"


14. Rukia to Ukitake

"Captain, I realize that I have big shoes to fill. Kaien-dono was a great lieutenant, and a great man. But I’ve grown a lot since his death, and I believe that I will be an excellent lieutenant for you! I promise to work hard, and to follow orders. I promise to help out with the running of the squad when you’re not feeling well. I promise to always show you when I find cute pictures on the internet, so that we can coo over them together. I will not disappoint you, Captain!"

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Gotei-13 Sasakibe Omaeda Kira Isane Hinamori Renji Iba Nanao Hisagi Matsumoto Yachiru Rukia Mashiro

72 notes

10 Ways Yoruichi might respond to the question, “But where have you been??”


"What Yoruichi’s been up to" requested by distractedmoose. :)


Yoruichi has, of course, just shown up in the manga, and she even mentioned where she’s been (collected energy or something). But! It’s been so long since we’ve seen her, that a person might understandably ask her about it. Maybe something like, “But where the hell have you been since the fake Karakura Town fight???” Here are 10 ways Yoruichi might respond!


1. ”Oh, you know. Hanging out. Catching up on my sleep. Ruling over my vast cat army, whose numbers swell day by day and whose members perpetually pledge their loyalty to me their queen.”


2. “I went toe to toe with Aizen. Figured I had earned a bit of R&R!”


3. “I just like to wait until the first wave of ‘all the shinigami have to lose their fights because that’s dramatic’ is over.” 


4. ”For some of us, ‘fashionably late’ isn’t just a lame excuse. It’s a lifestyle!”


5. “Let’s just say my battle leotard needed a LOT of repairs.”


6. “Eh. The fullbringer arc didn’t seem like my scene. I wanted to wait until things got exciting!”


7. “I’m a cat! We cats only show up when WE want to show up.”


8. “I like to visit my zanpakuto every now and then.”


9. 
"Well I sure know what I wasn’t doing. I wasn’t involved in a weeks’ long ‘Who can catnap the longest’ contest with Grimmjow. No sir.”


10. “I’ve been looking for my pants! But I couldn’t find them.”

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Yoruichi Shihoin Yoruichi

90 notes

Tessai live tweets Ichigo’s training with Urahara


Live tweets of Ichigo’s training requested by anon. :)


Let’s say that while Urahara was busy teaching Ichigo how to be a soul reaper, Tessai was live tweeting the whole event. This might be the result!


—The boss brought home a badly damaged teenage boy tonight. 

#shop life 


—I patched him up as best I could, but he still seems really cold. Like he spent a while lying in a puddle in the rain or something

#but surely that would be too overdramatic


—I need to warm him up. Body heat would be best.

#I mean the blankets are all the way in the other room  #lying on top of him is efficient  #I am sure he won’t mind


—He minded

#the screaming offended me a little  #what kind of man doesn’t want to wake up to this mustache?


—Now I understand why the boss had me dig that giant cavern

#I had assumed he was feeling nostalgic  #or that it had something to do with Yoruichi being back  #but no  #it was for training


—The boss talks like he’s done this training before. But I just don’t think that’s true

#pretty sure I’d remember if the boss had brought other injured teenage boys here  #pretty sure


—I just cut the chain tying a teenage boy’s soul to his body. Killing him, basically.

#shop life  #I’m sure it will work out fine


—Round 1: teenage boy vs. Ururu

#that boy doesn’t stand a chance  #and I don’t think he realizes it 


—Making a teenager wear that headgear is vaguely cruel

#although I suppose the expression he is making is adorable


—Making him shout the fake activation phrase is DEFINITELY cruel

#boss has a mean streak 


—Yup Ururu is kicking his ass

#at least Kurosaki is good at running away


—Uh oh he hit Ururu’s face

#that is going to cost him 


—Cleared Lesson 1! Score one for the teenage boy!

#looks like the boss doesn’t want him to die  #that’s good


—Although “not wanting him to die” is not the same as “being unwilling to throw him into a deep pit while he turns into a hollow”

#I hope the boss had him sign some sort of release


—I have bound the arms of a teenage boy so that he can not climb out of a pit while he turns into a monster

#but I am not a bad person  


—This is becoming awkward. Every five seconds he screams a lot and then he just lies there sadly

#and I don’t have a book or anything


—Three days

#I really should have brought a book  #the boss could at least toss one of those apples down here


—This boy may actually just die

#depressing  #at least he got to snuggle with me once  #and he will always have the memory of this mustache


—oh shit he’s becoming a hollow now

#time to bring out the big kido guns!


—wow the big kido guns didn’t even work a little

#that hurts my soul 


—Where did he go?

#does his hollow form involve rockets or


—No it’s okay I’ll just let myself out of this pit

#luckily I am in excellent physical condition


—Hollow mask…shinigami uniform…bandages….

#weird kid  #no wonder the boss likes him


—Round 3: teenage boy vs. the boss

#my money’s on the boss  #getting what he wants  #which is the boy winning I suppose


—The kid is fighting with a broken sword?

#that’s hardcore  #and a little futile 


—Using shikai on a kid with a broken sword? 

#yeah the boss def has a mean streak


—The kid sure has spent a lot of this training running and/or being scared for his life

#good preparation for Soul Society


—He’s stopped….

#mustache senses tingling  #something’s about to happen


—That is an enormous sword

#enormous  #sword  #sword that is enormous


—And an enormous canyon

#if I had that sword  #making the boss’s training grounds would be a lot easier


—This guy is in perpetual shikai, isn’t he?

#perpetual shikai  #hollow mask  #innate shinigami powers despite being human  #yes  #the boss’ interest makes a lot of sense now


—Training complete! Early too. Guess this means the boss and Kurosaki will have plenty of time to practice fighting

#yeah  #he’s going to be ready for Soul Society


—The boss’s training apparently works!

#time to start making fliers

Filed under Bleach Bleachlists Tessai Ichigo Urahara Ururu